Getting to the Root Issues
The Axe is laid to the root of the trees. Matthew 3:10
The Bible says that the temptations that we experience are common to man. (1 Corinthians 10:13) The devil only has a handful of tricks. Hope and Compassion is about finding the trick the devil has used on the individual. Most roots start at an early age. According to studies our personalities are formed by the age of 7. This is not playing the blame game but we have to find out how the effects of trauma has hurt the individual. Certain things in life will affect individuals differently. Each hurt will produce a different wound. Some core issues:
- ● Guilt
- ● Grief
- ● Shame
- ● Rejection
- ● Bitterness
- ● Unforgiveness
- ● Abandonment
- ● Anger
- ● Hurts/Pain
- ● Sexual Abuse
- ● Spiritual Abuse
- ● Occult involvement
- ● Parent Relationships
- ● Physical/Mental Abuse
Some of the most common root issues we help people with are as follows.
Shame:
There are two types of shame: a healthy shame and an unhealthy shame. The healthy shame is the kind that lets you know you have done something wrong and you feel remorseful for your actions. Then you do what it takes to take care of the problem. For example: you steal gum from the store and feel guilty and return the gum.
Then there is the unhealthy shame that makes people feel they are a mistake. When people feel unhealthy shame it makes them feel unworthy to even be alive. This kind of shame is usually put on them by others. They have been made to feel they were a mistake their whole life. This is toxic shame. Shame is put on people through abuse: verbal, physical, and sexual and the way they were treated and talked to as a child. When a child hears all their life they are no good and worthless they begin to believe this lie. This can be put on them by anyone in their life, a parent, teacher, extended family etc….
Rejection:
This root comes from how someone has been loved through their life. These people have been told or treated their whole life they are not wanted nor loved. These “tapes “play over and over in their mind even into adulthood. This is different than shame, rejection makes people feel unwanted. Shame makes people feel they are a mistake. Rejection causes people to reject others because they feel they will get rejected anyway so they reject before they get rejected. People who struggle with rejection will sabotage relationships, jobs, and other successes in their life because they believe rejection will be the end result. This mentality is what I call the “hamster wheel” cycle.
Guilt:
Guilt is a big hurdle because it is a mixture of shame and rejection. One of the problems with guilt is they see themselves of not being worth helping. Guilt causes them to have feelings of never measuring up. When someone lives in guilt they feel they must beat themselves up on a daily basis. They always seem to never meet their quota on how much they will beat themselves up, so the cycle continues. They feel they have done so much bad stuff they can’t be forgiven.
Father Issues:
Father issues is a major problem especially with men. Not to say it is not a problem with women because it is, but I see a deeper set of wounds with men. One thing about women is usually the mother can fulfill a lot of nurturing needs. One of the tactics of the devil is to take out the father which is the head and the rest of the family is no problem. A man looks for the approval of the father and will go to all extremes to get that approval.
A man doesn’t want to say anything against the father regardless of how bad the relationship has been in the past. Even if the father hasn’t been in their life they still put him up as a hero. As an adult they will justify the father’s actions.
Forgiveness:
One of the hardest things for people to overcome is un-forgiveness. Un-forgiveness will cause a root of bitterness to spring up and cause a lot of anger, resentment, hatred, etc…. When this happens this will cause the flow of God to stop in their life. They feel they have a right to hold resentment towards the one who hurt them. One of the biggest problems for people is to forgive others and forgive themselves. This is why many people turn to drugs to help overcome the pain. When you start working with people and dealing with their forgiveness you must forgive incidences not blanket forgiveness. The incident is what needs healed because each wound happened at a different age. The age will depend on how someone was affected by the act. We respond differently as a 7 year old than we do as a 10 year old. That is why incident forgiveness is important and not a blanket forgiveness. When an individual makes the choice to forgive this starts breaking down the walls and this will bring the offense to the surface so they can deal with the hurt.
If you or someone you know is struggle with any of these issues, give us a call today!