Last week while in a time of praise and worship the Lord captured my spirit. While
the worship team began to sing and minister, I experienced some difficulty entering in
the the praise.
The Lord captured my spirit and began to speak and reveal an issue that just cannot be muscled through. The word states that those who worship must do so in Spirit and Truth.
We've all been there, whether in praise and worship or a staff meeting at work. We learn to survive by faking it. The saying says, “fake it until you make it”. We can give an appearance that we're engaged, we’re praising, we're following, all the while we know that we're not engaged. This is where I was, singing and looking like everyone else but I was not engaged.
The Lord captured my attention and revealed the reason I could not go any further. I know that our human reasoning would anticipate that there is sin, some undisclosed rebellion or such that I was covering up by my outward appearance that I was alright. It really was nothing like that but something probably harder to take care of.
The Lord showed me that I was taking responsibilities that were not mine. It’s no secret to those close to me, I invest myself spiritually in intersession and prayers for those people and issues that my heart attaches to.
The Lord told me that I was taking the responsibility for the out come when I prayed and that I was only responsible to pray believing.
As the Lord was speaking into my spirit He began to reveal scene after scene to support His words. Several years ago while ministering in a small town my spirit and soul immediately attached to this young pre-teen girl. When I say immediate it truly was immediate. I saw her walking or being led by her grandfather on the outdoor basketball court. I was drawn to her like one magnet to another. I went to her and introduced myself and asked if I could pray for her.
This precious child went through brain cancer and surgery which left her blind and of course other side effects. I prayed for her, hugged her and even cried over her. There was no immediate clap from the heavens announcing her healing but I knew God is able to completely heal and restore. For the next year I would earnestly play for this girl and her healing and restoration. I saw just this in my mind. I saw her sight restored and I saw her dancing in the presence of the Lord. I kept in touch with the grandfather and every time we talked there would be another health issue that I would intercede and believe for.
The precious child did not recover and passed away. I attended her funeral and part of me still could not believe she was gone after all I saw her in my prayer time healed. My father walked into the hospital and never walked out. Again, my heart and soul would cry out in prayers to the Lord and I knew the Lord was going to heal and restore his life. Over and over the Lord played scene after scene through my mind and spirit reinforcing His original words to me, I am only responsible to pray and believe, He's responsible for the outcomes.
I could actually feel Him wrapping me in His arms as He continued speaking to me. Because of the investment I had made in the past where I took the responsibility for the outcomes of my prayers I had distanced myself from becoming attached to the prayers and worship today.
This was hard to hear and accept but the words were love and truth. I had removed my spirit heart and soul from my praise, from my worship and my prayers. I continued to praise and pray but from a comfortable investment I was willing to take and not from Love, not from my heart and not from the point of belief. I’m trying and I'm learning, learning to lean on the everlasting arm. I'm praying again. Not out of command or duty but out of love and compassion. I'm still learning...
I am only ever called to pray and believe.
The Lord captured my spirit and began to speak and reveal an issue that just cannot be muscled through. The word states that those who worship must do so in Spirit and Truth.
We've all been there, whether in praise and worship or a staff meeting at work. We learn to survive by faking it. The saying says, “fake it until you make it”. We can give an appearance that we're engaged, we’re praising, we're following, all the while we know that we're not engaged. This is where I was, singing and looking like everyone else but I was not engaged.
The Lord captured my attention and revealed the reason I could not go any further. I know that our human reasoning would anticipate that there is sin, some undisclosed rebellion or such that I was covering up by my outward appearance that I was alright. It really was nothing like that but something probably harder to take care of.
The Lord showed me that I was taking responsibilities that were not mine. It’s no secret to those close to me, I invest myself spiritually in intersession and prayers for those people and issues that my heart attaches to.
The Lord told me that I was taking the responsibility for the out come when I prayed and that I was only responsible to pray believing.
As the Lord was speaking into my spirit He began to reveal scene after scene to support His words. Several years ago while ministering in a small town my spirit and soul immediately attached to this young pre-teen girl. When I say immediate it truly was immediate. I saw her walking or being led by her grandfather on the outdoor basketball court. I was drawn to her like one magnet to another. I went to her and introduced myself and asked if I could pray for her.
This precious child went through brain cancer and surgery which left her blind and of course other side effects. I prayed for her, hugged her and even cried over her. There was no immediate clap from the heavens announcing her healing but I knew God is able to completely heal and restore. For the next year I would earnestly play for this girl and her healing and restoration. I saw just this in my mind. I saw her sight restored and I saw her dancing in the presence of the Lord. I kept in touch with the grandfather and every time we talked there would be another health issue that I would intercede and believe for.
The precious child did not recover and passed away. I attended her funeral and part of me still could not believe she was gone after all I saw her in my prayer time healed. My father walked into the hospital and never walked out. Again, my heart and soul would cry out in prayers to the Lord and I knew the Lord was going to heal and restore his life. Over and over the Lord played scene after scene through my mind and spirit reinforcing His original words to me, I am only responsible to pray and believe, He's responsible for the outcomes.
I could actually feel Him wrapping me in His arms as He continued speaking to me. Because of the investment I had made in the past where I took the responsibility for the outcomes of my prayers I had distanced myself from becoming attached to the prayers and worship today.
This was hard to hear and accept but the words were love and truth. I had removed my spirit heart and soul from my praise, from my worship and my prayers. I continued to praise and pray but from a comfortable investment I was willing to take and not from Love, not from my heart and not from the point of belief. I’m trying and I'm learning, learning to lean on the everlasting arm. I'm praying again. Not out of command or duty but out of love and compassion. I'm still learning...
I am only ever called to pray and believe.